Monday, August 10, 2009

The VMAs are Brits! Congratulations, Britney! You're up for seven VMAs this year! It's a moment of sweet redemption for Britz, because it means she will return once again to the stage where she's tasted her sugariest highs and her most Xanax-tical lows. Let's face it, Britney is the VMAs. She's the reason we watch every year - it's how we take the temperature of the Britney universe. She was made for this show, and it was made for her.

Once more, Lady B shall take the stage where she suffered the indignity of the 2007 VMAs, where she mumbled, bumbled, and stumbled through a rendition of "Gimme More" that traumatized her fans, bumping into her scared-looking back-up dancers, rocking her spray-painted abs and one of Bret Michaels' used hairpieces. As people used to say way back in 2007, it was a "fail," as well as a "hot tranny mess."

Britz made her return to the VMAs last year, showing she could make the scene as a wholesome, soft-spoken Southern gal, but with all these nominations, she has a chance for an even bigger comeback - not to mention an even bigger celebration of her place as the pop queen of the decade. Nobody should be surprised if she sweeps all seven of her categories, just because "Womanizer" is a seven-times-awesome kind of song, although given that it's up against heavy hitters like "Single Ladies," "Poker Face" and "Love Lockdown," she might want to rehearse her "it's an honor just to be nominated, y'all" cliche just in case. (Bizarrely, she's not nominated for Best Female Video, maybe because she’s too much of a woman-woman-womanizer?)

Given that Eminem got a bunch of nominations as well, maybe MTV is just having spasms of 1999 nostalgia. But this a moment for all her fans to savor, wonder why the new category for "Best [Old] Video That Should Have Been A Moonman" doesn't have a nod for her "Lucky" video, from 2000. That's a classic. It was her Kid A.

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